


Dave ==> Love your possessive little troll.

by MakeAStriderSmile



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Kidstuck, M/M, No Game AU, based on a nubbybub headcanon yet again, but i dont because im a nerd, i should really write more original work, karkat is a smol bby troll that has possessive issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4085458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakeAStriderSmile/pseuds/MakeAStriderSmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="http://nubbybub.tumblr.com/post/120750834594/okay-consider-trolls-who-are-super-possessive-lil"> here's the headcanon post, thank you to Kaki_Idk for showing me how to hyperlink </a>
</p>
<p>This is a work-in-progress (as in, I have finished the first chapter and am uploading it right after and now I'm working on the next couple of chapters)</p>
<p>Expect fluff to come. Mature rating is for possible NSFW in later chapters (like seriously the first few is them as kids dont be gross)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meetings and a lot of shoving.

“Just go back to your own planet you stupid little alien!” a voice rings out through the playground as two small hands push a young Karkat Vantas to the ground. Being as light as he is, Karkat topples pretty quickly, landing on his behind and blinking rapidly, eyes filling with pink tinted tears.

 

“B-but.. this.. my planet.” he tries to say, his English not so great. The other kid scoffs.

“It is not! You’re from some stupid planet full of stupid savages!”

 

“Don’t say that about him!” an angry exclamation comes from the swings, and a child makes his way over to the pair, eyes narrowed behind a pair of triangular shades.

“Oh, be quiet, Strider, go back home and play with all your puppets.”

 

A shove and a shout, and the bully is on the ground, and Dave Strider is standing over him. “There is nothing wrong with my puppets. And if I ever see you messing with another poor little kid, troll or not, I will knock your ass down so hard your head spins.” He is internally hoping that the kid won’t tell on him for using a swear. He’d picked it up from Bro once, and figured it was fitting.

 

Scrambling back, the child stutters, “A-alright, I’m s-sorry! J-just don’t push me!” He stands, giving the troll one last look, and leaves the playground. Dave smirks faintly, going over to the still teary-eyed troll.

“Are you okay, little guy?” he asks, voice softer now.

 

“Y-yes.” he stammers, eyes wide, awed. This boy stood up for him. Perhaps he would be his friend. “M-my name.. Kar-kat.”

 

“Karkat, huh? I’m Dave, Dave Strider.” he introduces himself, helping him up and brushing the dirt off of him. “You think you’ll be alright to play now? No stupid kids bein’ rude to you?”

The little troll just nods, smiling at him and hugging him tightly before heading off to the swings, taking Dave’s hand and tugging him along.

 

Dave is a little confused, but is more than happy to go. He had the feeling he was going to like the little wriggler.

 

 


	2. Karkat and the Blobby Crab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi arrives, to minimal fanfare. How will our little nubby baby deal with someone trying to get in on his chosen human?
> 
> EDIT: My delightful sister Kyla pointed out an error in the first paragraph of this chapter (and she won't stop reading my own work aloud its scaring me), so thanks Kyla!

A year passes, and Karkat and Dave are inseparable. Outside of classes that is. Despite both being 9 years old, Karkat had to take some foundation classes because his English is bad, and he’s not fantastic with math, but he excels at Art and History. It’s fairly tough to nail down his schedule, and so Dave will wait for Karkat at the playground where they first met to make sure they didn’t lose each other in the crowd.

 

Once, Dave had been waiting for Karkat, and another troll, a little older than his nubby horned friend, came up to him, asking if he perhaps wanted to do some roleplaying with him. She could be a dragon owner and he could be a knight to slay the dragon. He was about to decline, when a small voice rang out from the corridor. “No! No, Terezi!” Karkat shouts from the corridor, bag slung over his shoulder. He runs up to them, clinging onto Dave’s arm and glaring at the older troll. “Mine.” he mutters angrily at her. She frowns, shaking her head.

 

“We don’t own humans, dummy! We learned about that when we came! We’re not allowed to own the humans, we’re just meant to interact with them. Make friends and stuff.” she tells him, clearly more advanced in her English speaking than he was.

 

All the while, Karkat clung strong to his chosen human, as he had ever since the day that Dave pushed a bully over for him. “No. Mine. Go find other human.” he mumbles.

 

Dave, meanwhile, finds this to be the cutest thing ever. “It’s okay, Kitkat, I’m not goin’ nowhere. Sorry, TZ, seems he’s made up his mind.” He shrugs, wrapping his arms around Karkat and hugging him gently. “You can let go now, I thought we were goin’ to see the crab picture you drew.” Karkat nods excitedly at this, pulling him along, and sticking his tongue out at Terezi as he went. Dave just laughs. “She’s right, you know. You don’t own me, just because we’re best bros.” he murmurs, a little softer, as they walk.

 

“I know. I did not want her taking you away. You would like her and dragons and not Karkat.” the troll murmurs back, not looking at Dave, fidgeting as he led him to the art room, where his crab picture was.

 

“As if I would ever not like you, Karkles. You’re always gonna be my best bro for life.” He tells him with a small scoff, admiring the troll’s slightly blobby picture of a red crab. “Wow, Kar, you did fantastic on this. I like the claws for sure.” Karkat’s face flushes, at least, Dave is pretty sure it turns a slightly more reddish tinged grey.

 

“Thank you. You can have. If you want.” he offers. He had intended to give it to Dave all along, but if he didn’t want it, he could always give it to his older brother Kankri. Kankri was 13 and he really liked to talk, even though Karkat was the only one who would sit and listen to him. He loved every picture Karkat gave him, and kept them in a little scrapbook.

 

“You’re letting me have this? Wow, thanks, Karkat!” he exclaims happily, hugging the little troll tightly and spinning him around. “I’ll keep it forever, promise.” he assures the other, grinning at him.

 

“No you won’t, you will lose it when you go old.” Karkat accuses.

 

“You mean ‘grow’ old, Kar. And I will not.” Dave corrects him.

 

“Fine. In 3 sweeps I will ask you show me crab and if you do not I get to bite you.” Karkat challenges him, grinning.

 

“Deal.” Dave agrees easily. “I’ll never lose this thing, I promise you.”

 

 


	3. What you (and I) were waiting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Livvy, who has been falling off of things every time I tell her I've been writing.  
> You're the cutest man, don't ever change~
> 
> But yes.  
> This is what I was building up to forever.  
> It made me screech softly to myself and agree it was cute af  
> Hope you think so too.

6 years pass. Dave shoots up, reaching 5’8” already. Karkat is pushing 5’3”, a fact that he despises. Every time Dave asks how the weather is down there, Karkat kicks him in the shins without mercy.

 

It’s just another day after school, and Karkat is curled up in Dave’s lap, dozing off. He’d been doing this since he was 11 years old, crawling into Dave’s lap, or leaning into him, or winding himself around him, and just falling asleep. It had been a bit odd to get used to at first, considering he did it wherever they might have been at the time. On the school bus, at school, during class, during lunchtime, on the way home… Karkat was just a very clingy person. And Dave was okay with that.

 

Karkat’s English has improved dramatically. Not to mention.. his cursing has as well. Dave likes to joke with him and ask if Alternia had sailors, because he certainly swore like one. Of course, they didn’t have sailors, the highbloods were the only ones that even went near the water, but Karkat didn’t bother to tell him that. No doubt he wouldn’t understand.

 

Karkat is currently resting, face in Dave’s neck, huffing sleepily as the blonde plays Pokemon Fire Red, trying to capture a Pikachu for the 50th time. He grunts in effort as he sends his fourth Bidoof out. Karkat has told him time and time again that he needs to have a team of more than just Bidoofs that he refuses to evolve, but Dave enthusiastically flips him off and tells him that, much like many other things that he does, it is ‘for ironic purposes’. Karkat helpfully tells him to go fuck his ironic purposes, and then deletes his save file and plays the game properly.

 

After the second failure, Dave groans in annoyance and sets his Game Boy down, wrapping his arms around Karkat and huffing into his hair. “Stupid fuckin’ Pikachu.” he mutters.

 

Karkat, on a completely unrelated matter, asks him softly, “Hey, Dave?”

 

“Yeah, Kitkat?” he replies, looking down at him. Karkat isn’t usually one to moderate his pitch, and usually speaks pretty loudly. When he speaks quietly, Dave knows he means something seriously.

 

“Do you still have that crab picture?” he asks, blinking up at him. “I just thought about it, it’s been 3 sweeps. I… just wanted to see if you had it.”

 

Dave just smiles, untangling himself from Karkat, who protests and huffs, burying his face in the bean bag they had been sitting on in Dave’s room, away from his bed which was covered in swords. They used to sit on the bed, but then Bro and Dave decided Dave should learn some more serious moves, which required a lot more swords, and that idea went out the window. When Karkat asked where Dave even slept, he pointed at the beanbag and left it at that.

 

He returns with a slightly beat up old scrapbook of sorts, the front displaying a collage of random photos Dave had taken. Along with his fondness for jars of dead things, Dave had gotten into photography, carrying an old Polaroid camera around with him everywhere to take photos of things he found interesting. Karkat was usually the unfortunate- and usually unknowing- subject of these candid shots.

 

He sits back down with Karkat, laying it in his lap and opening it. The first picture in there is a photo of them, taken by Bro when Karkat had come over for the first time, about a month after the blonde had stood up for the troll. Karkat was holding Dave’s hand happily, beaming at the camera.

 

“Oh my god I was such a wriggler back then I am so embarrassed.” Karkat mutters, burying his face in his hands.

“Shhh, you were the cutest, Karkitty. Don’t deny it.” Dave dismisses, turning the page.

 

The next one is at Dave’s birthday, the blonde blowing out the candles on a smuppet shaped cake, Karkat by his side, some of Bro’s face and sunglasses in the corner of the shot, a failed attempt at taking a selfie with them. Dave looks excited, as does Karkat. They were mostly excited for the fact that Bro was letting them play with his swords after they ate, as a birthday gift to Dave. Dave nearly lost a finger that day, but it was worth it.

 

The page after that is Karkat’s birthday, Karkat being held by his Crabdad as Dave took a far more successful selfie, red eyes in full view for once. Dave’s gift to Karkat that year had been that he wouldn’t wear his shades all day, and though he got a killer headache after, he wouldn’t have changed a thing, knowing how happy Karkat had been to see that he wasn’t the only one with a mutation they couldn’t change.

 

Dave hesitates for a moment, before skipping the next two pages. “Hey! What’re you doing, skipping those! What if those contained prime moments of our friendship, asshole?” Karkat protests.

“I know that they don’t, Karkat, I was the one that put them there and that’s not what those pages are.” Dave says evasively. “Maybe I’ll show you them another day.”

 

The next page he has turned to is a sneaky picture that Bro had left in his scrapbook one day, a simple Polaroid of the two of them asleep in Bro’s car on the way home from a trip to an anime convention, a trip he had planned to take himself before the two wormed their way into the trip as well. Dave was dressed up as a pokemon trainer, and Karkat was his pikachu, dressed in a onesie that was a bit too big for his small frame.

 

“Weren’t we so cute? Whatever happened to that?” Dave teases, receiving a bite on the shoulder in answer, yelping. “Wow, what the fuck, Karkat.”

“I’m still cute, asshole, I’ll always be cute.” Karkat mutters back to him, scowling.

“Aw, Karkles, you’ll always be cute to me, no matter what you look like on the outside.” Dave teases, ruffling his hair and getting bitten harder.

 

Rubbing his now bruised shoulder, Dave turns the page to reveal the blobby red crab picture that Karkat had made for him so long ago.

 

“You.. you actually did keep it.” Karkat says, a little awed.

 

“Of course I was going to keep it, Kar, I told you I would. I would never lie to you.” Dave says, softly and seriously.

 

Karkat considers this for a moment, before smiling faintly. “Neither would I.”

He then, after a moment of hesitation, asks, very softly, “Dave? Can I ask you something?”

 

“Course you can, go ahead.” Dave replies, frowning down at him in slight confusion.

 

“You know all those romance movies I made you watch?” He asks, still sounding rather nervous.

 

“Of course I know them, you cried all over me and then hit me when I told you you were crying.” Dave informs him.

 

“...We should try that.” Karkat suggests, very quietly.

 

Dave considers that. “Okay.” he replies, shugging.

 

  
“Okay? You’re… really serious about that?” Karkat asks incredulously. He opens his mouth to go on a ramble about actually being serious about it and not just having him on for a joke, but he was cut off before he even started as Dave leaned down and kissed him firmly, shutting him up.

 

By the time Dave pulled away, he was entirely speechless. “I… I.” Karkat stutters dumbly.

 

“I’m entirely serious, Kitkat. Let’s do it. Any of it, all of it. You can be my boyfriend, or matesprit, or we don’t have to put a label on it at all. As long as it’s you and me and there’s some sloppy makeouts involved, it doesn’t matter.” Dave informs him, smiling.

 

“You… don’t mind if we don’t put any names on it? I find all the names for it pretty stupid, and none of it really matches what you are for me.” Karkat says quietly.

 

“I don’t mind at all. Just so long as you don’t find some other kid to stand up for you and latch onto, god knows I’d miss my best friend/makeout buddy.” Dave says, only half joking.

 

“As if there was ever going to be anyone else, Dave.” Karkat mutters to him, though he’s still smiling. He had expected this to go a lot worse.

  
He liked this option much better.


	4. BONUS: Dave(and Karkat)'s Scrapbook over the years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those two pages that Dave skipped over, and (to make up for being so late like a goddamn weenie) a hell of a lot more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I introduced a metric fuckton of new characters. I also tried writing in a different style of sorts. 
> 
> Also. SHIPS GALORE!!!!  
> I'll introduce them here, and if you're not a fan of them, feel free to skip to the next chapter (if it's up when you're reading this) or just wait for the next addition to be posted. Sorry if you don't like them, I just ship them to death and I wanted that to be at least shown here.  
> Without further ado, they are:  
> -DirkJake/BroGrandpa (though Grandpa is not actually an old guy. Think of Jake from that fantastic DirkJake fic Twitterpated because that was what I was going for)  
> \- JohnRoxy  
> \- RoseMary  
> \- GamTav  
> \- (very hinted but may become more canon throughout) Erisol  
> \- (very very hinted but if you want to think of it like that go ahead) JadeNepFef
> 
> And that's that! So sorry for taking so long I procrastinated like a nerd

A beaten up old scrapbook opens to a page we have never seen before. We have already seen the first few pages, and we do not need to see them again. Besides, there is plenty more to look at now. It’s been years, and there have been plenty of additions since the day of their first kiss.

 

The first page is a page containing only one picture, and it is a small Polaroid, featuring two young people. Dave and Karkat are 12 years old, and on the couch in the Strider apartment. Karkat is mastering the terrible skateboarding game on the Strider’s television. Dave had obviously been trying to do the same, but in the end, had given up, opting to look at Karkat’s progress instead. His glasses are off, as they almost always are around the troll now, and you can practically see the love in his eyes. Perhaps not love, maybe fondness, maybe just platonic affection. Only Dave could tell you for sure which of them it was. His smile is soft, barely even there, but coming from someone as stoic as himself, that smile was a clear admission of… something. Karkat is looking at the screen, blissfully unaware of the way that his best friend is looking at him. And if he is aware, he certainly doesn’t show it, not even years later.

 

The next page is a bunch of candid shots, all of which had been taken by Bro and placed in the book by Dave with varying levels of embarrassment. The first is from one of the first times that Dave and Karkat were found cuddling. Dave’s bed had still been habitable then, and Karkat looked tiny curled against Dave’s chest. The blonde’s arm was around his waist, and even in sleep, Dave looked happier than anyone had ever seen him.

The next picture is one of them doing homework, side by side, Karkat’s hand on Dave’s knee as he wrote, face scrunched in concentration. Dave’s hand was on top of Karkat’s, and he looked far less concerned about the writing, looking at their hands with something that looked a lot like awe.

One that you can barely see unless you took it out of the book entirely is a picture that featured Karkat asleep on Dave’s bed, with Dave sitting at the end of it, looking down at him with that something in his eyes that could possibly be love, or possibly nothing at all.

Another is from one of the times that the two went to a water park, Karkat looking blissful as the water poured over them, Dave looking over at him with a mixture of fondness, surprise, and a little bit of resignment. If you asked Dave, which you could not at the moment, he would inform you happily that the day from that picture was the day he knew he was in love for sure.

 

The next page is a page we have already seen, and the rest of the pages are mostly things we already know. We will move on to the more recent additions since the kiss.

 

One page is clearly Karkat’s addition, little squiggly hearts drawn here and there, mostly to piss Dave off. Dave’s retort must have been the conversion of some of them to dicks. Most of the pictures look like printed out pictures from someone’s blurry camera photos. Some of them are actually in focus, though. The first is a picture of Karkat, though Dave’s face is smushed in to the side of it, lips puckered in a traditional ‘duckface’. Karkat is beaming happily, and if Dave’s lips weren’t so puckered, we could assume that Dave would be too.

The next picture is a photo that Bro had grudgingly taken for Dave on the Strider’s 16th birthday. Dave is behind Karkat, arms wound around his waist, pressing his lips to the troll’s cheek. Karkat’s face is a slightly darker shade of grey, and it’s pretty obvious that he’s blushing. His smile is brilliant, a smile of the truly pleased.

The last photo is Karkat’s 16th birthday, with Karkat’s brother/genetic clone/whatever he actually was, Kankri, taking a photo of Crabdad, Karkat and Dave together. Crabdad is affectionately bopping the two on the head and the pair are holding hands, grinning for the camera. Dave’s shades are on, as he had gotten a terrible headache that day, but behind the shades he is crossing his eyes, not that anyone would be able to notice.

 

The next page is from various points of the next year.

 

A selfie taken with Bro, who is uncharacteristically beaming for the camera.

 

A picture of Bro and a slightly older man with a bucktoothed grin, curled up on the couch, Karkat sitting with them as they watched Avatar for the eighth time that week.

 

Bro and Karkat playing Guitar Hero, Karkat on the drums, Bro on the guitar.

 

Dave and a boy with dorky glasses and the same bucktoothed grin as Bro’s partner.

 

Karkat and Dave with that same boy, as well as a slightly older girl with pink eyes and a knowing smile, black painted lips pressed to the dorky boy’s cheek, Dave’s lips pressed to Karkat’s.

 

A photo of Dave’s family, together as they very rarely were. Dave’s older brother Dirk was home from college for the week, and Bro’s twin, who also generally went by Bro, or Uncle Bro, took time off his filming schedule. All of them had their glasses on, the only people without glasses being Karkat, because the other two people there, Bro’s partner and Dirk’s boyfriend who had tagged along for the trip, both wore the same thick and ridiculous prescription glasses.

 

A picture of an occasion that had never truly been celebrated before that year, Bro’s birthday, the man looking ever so slightly embarrassed as he blew out the candle on his cake, which was in the shape of a hat, his partner cheering enthusiastically at his side. They never did find out how old Bro had turned that year, as he refused to tell them, and Dave assumed he was immortal anyway.

 

A blurry photo taken by someone we don’t know, of the girl with the knowing smile and the boy with the bucktoothed grin, wearing stupid shirts saying ‘If lost return to Roxy’ with the other shirt saying ‘I am Roxy’. Dave and Karkat are making dumb faces for the camera, arms tightly around each other.

 

A photo of Karkat and two unfamiliar girls, all smushed up together so that the photo can be taken with all of them in frame. One of them looks a lot like Roxy, though her eyes are darker, nearly purple. Her black lips are raised in a small smirk, her trademark look. The other girl is grinning, her obvious overbite prominent in her smile, her round frames pushed up by her cheeks as she smiles.

A string of pictures from a photobooth, of Karkat and Dave, the latter sitting in the former’s lap. Dave is beaming at Karkat in the first picture, Karkat rolling his eyes at him, though he’s smiling too.

In the second, Karkat’s hand has lifted to sit on Dave’s cheek, and their smiles are only barely there now, eyes only for each other.

In the third, they are in the middle of a kiss, looking absorbed in themselves, eyes closed, lips slightly curved in a sort of smile as they press together.

In the fourth, Karkat is pushing Dave off of his lap with a wry grin, and Dave is yelping, eyes wide in surprise as he falls.

 

The next page contains a photo from Dave’s and Karkat’s birthdays respectively.

 

For Dave’s birthday, Dirk is hugging him, having returned from his travelling with Jake to come and celebrate with him, and Dave looks as surprised as Jake, who is standing on the fringe of the picture, does. Karkat is standing with their small group of friends, smiling softly. Bro and his partner aren’t in the shot because Bro is taking the picture and his partner is baking the cake, a habit he had picked up from his sister.

 

For Karkat’s birthday, they are all squished together on the small couch that Crabdad had recently bought for their hive. Roxy is sitting in her boyfriend’s lap, her near lookalike beside them in the arms of a smiling troll with jade painted lips, Karkat sitting in Dave’s lap beside them, Karkat looking back at the smiling troll, obviously in the middle of a conversation with her. The girl with the round frames is sitting next to them, ducking her head to avoid the large horns of the troll next to her, who is smiling nervously, in the middle of an apology to her. One other troll is slung carelessly on the arm of the couch, arms around the nervous troll, smiling lazily in the direction of the camera, his makeup ever so slightly smudged around the lips.

 

The last page in the book is a large group photo, labelled with everyone’s names.

Gamzee is sitting in Tavros’ lap, lips pressed to the blushing troll’s cheek. Vriska is sitting on Terezi’s shoulder, tongue stuck out. John and Roxy look ever so slightly intoxicated, grinning for the camera. Sollux is on his phone, but he is smiling ever so slightly. Aradia is next to him, rolling her eyes at him and poking his shoulder. Eridan is on the other side of Sollux, gazing at him longingly. Rose and Kanaya are already kissing. As are Dave and Karkat. Jade is talking to Feferi and Nepeta, looking pleased, and Jane is chatting contently to Dirk and Jake, who had returned from travelling and now owned a little apartment in town. Equius is hovering nervously to the side, sweat already staining his shirt.

 

There is a new book, an empty page already prepared.

 

Karkat is the one who has drawn up the design obviously, as there are multiple bubbly designs and smileys and stupid emoji pictures, and a big bubbly heading.

 

The heading, all decked out in glitter glue and sharpies, reads ‘Graduation’.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I quoted to PK, who looked over the earliest draft of this,   
> 'Welcome to my bullshit PK i have no idea what im doing'
> 
> They told me to keep it in, and so it is in.


	5. The Promised Graduation Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it's here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have multiple points to make at the start of this chapter.  
> 1)Sorry for taking so long!!!  
> 2) HOLY SHIT OVER 500 HITS I FEEL SO GODDAMN VALIDATED, NOT TO MENTION ALL THEM KUDOS!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> 3) One of my absolute favorite fanfic writers Ash_Fave left a kudos here and im screeching so hard  
> 4) and one of my precious lovely regular commenters is acTUALLY MAKING ART FOR ME
> 
> So, this is for all of you guys, especially that lovely davekat trash commenter, and gosh im gonna cry I'm just so happy

The room that the graduates and well-wishers had been piled into was stifling. Sure, after it, everyone would announce that graduation was just the perfect day, and totally amazing, but they obviously had been in an alternate universe with air conditioning because they obviously didn’t get how fucking hot it was in the tiny room they had rented out for the day.

 

Dave’s gown clings to him in the heat, sweat slicking his pale hair to his face, which is uncharacteristically very pink. Thankfully, his shiny new aviators look cooler than cool, saving his appearance a little. Karkat is taking the heat a little less gracefully, tugging in annoyance at his gown, which clings just as bad. His hair, (which had been tamed by a tearful Kankri, as he whined about Karkat growing up, his little descendant, an act that Dave had watched with great amusement before he had to go home to grab his outfit for the ceremony and say hi to Dirk real quick) had melted out of the nice style it had been in. The gel had melted away and it had left his thick black hair a sticky, spiky mess as Karkat kept running his fingers through it compulsively. Dave loved it. Texted him and told him how punk rock he looked. Karkat just smirked, passing up a message to the row of S students, and he heard a huff as Dave was punched on his behalf.

 

The hats they are wearing look so stupid, and even worse after Dave ‘pimped them out’. His has Sweet Bro on it, and Karkat’s has Hella Jeff, artfully depicted with glitter paint, rhinestones and, no joke, actual feathers. Why the feathers were there, nobody knew.

Karkat outright threatened to burn his when it was presented to him.

He still planned on doing so at the end of the night, despite Dave’s pouty protests.

 

John is standing at the side of the podium nervously, adjusting his thick glasses as Vriska’s mother and their headmaster gave a long-winded speech about responsibility or something. Of course John was the class valedictorian, nerd that he was, and a fact that Dave loved to tease him about.

The Dave in question was currently in the S row, making faces at Vriska from where he sat near the end, while she sat at the front of it, making faces right back at him.

Karkat is alone in the V row, near the end, sighing in exasperation as he realizes he can hear Kankri talking even from where he sits. His sort of ectobiological brother-father is cheerfully ranting to Crabdad, who was good-naturedly clicking in reply, enduring the monologue. Crabdad was the coolest.

 

Bro was sitting with his partner, who, as far as Dave knew, was named either Hass or Jacob. Either worked, he supposed. Dirk and Jake, who had insisted on coming along, (well, Jake had, and Dirk secretly didn’t want to miss his baby brother’s graduation) with a stoic Dirk and a visibly excited Jake, as usual. The young man had enthused as they had driven there, ‘Golly, Striders, I have never even been to a proper graduation! Most of my high school classes were online, and my commencement ceremony in England was no doubt much different, I’m willing to wager!’ and he would have gone on but Dirk suddenly announced that Jake really needed to shut up, and proceeded to pull his boyfriend in for a kiss to do the shutting up.

Despite the horrified Dave sitting between them.

He had just been trying to text Karkat and they started full on making out.

 

Dave was mentally scarred when he exited that car, and when he found Karkat, he just quietly hugged him for a while to comfort himself. Karkat did not mind this in the slightest.

 

Roxy had joined them soon after, John in tow. Roxy was in college already, studying computer science and bartending simultaneously. Dave platonically loved the girl. Karkat didn’t really mind. “Hello there, my darling graduates!” she hollers happily, hugging the two of them tightly, before returning to John’s side. “Are ya excited to join the legion of dronin’ adults?”

 

“Not in the slightest.” the two answer in unison, John chiming in as well, and Roxy rolls her eyes.

 

“Wusses.” She murmurs fondly. She looks up at John, smirking. “Well, I’m gonna go find the Strider bunch and chill with them, you behave yourself, cutie.” With that, she gets up on tiptoe to kiss him and leaves.

 

John blushes, waving after her and scratching his head in slight embarrassment, wiping the black off of his own lips. “She is a big fan of PDA.” he apologizes, goofy grin on his face showing he is quite pleased by this fact.

 

“So is he.” Karkat says, pointing at Dave, who waves, not looking sorry at all about it.

“Damn right I am.” he replies enthusiastically.

 

Then they had been called to get into their positions, Dave gave Karkat one of their more particularly amorous goodbye kisses, and left John and Karkat stunned. He hadn’t been lying.

 

And now John was giving his speech, now looking quite calm, grinning as he added a few jokes in there, unable to help his penchant for comedy, Roxy in the audience laughing loudly at every single one. John just smiled as she did, knowing that she absolutely hated his terrible jokes but laughed every time, no matter what. Everyone else laughed too, and John was damn proud of himself as he returned to his seat.

 

The rest of the ceremony was a slight bit of a blur. The diplomas were given out, the assembled group of Dave and Karkat’s parents and friends cheering when any friend of theirs was called up. Gamzee gave a little speech of his own when he got his diploma, thanking ‘the whole motherfuckin’ miraculous world and all y’all for bein’ here for me through all this shit’ which his brother Kurloz clapped loudly for. Dirk found the speech terribly amusing. As did Karkat. Dave couldn’t control his laughter.

When Dave came up, Bro characteristically got up, hollering out in his thick twang, “That’s my lil’ baby boy!” before sitting back down, poker face back on in full. Jacob is laughing, face in his hands, Dirk is pretending he does not know the man, and Jake is regarding them all with an exasperated look.

When Karkat came up, Crabdad clicked and screeched loudly to acknowledge his charge, Kankri patting Crabdad’s head to calm him down while simultaneously cheering. Bro hollered just as loudly as he had for Dave, quite proud of the little squirt. Karkat smiled, a little tearfully, as he shook Miss Serket’s hand and took his diploma, kind of proud that he had all those people to actually cheer for him. He went to sit back down and found that Dave had texted him a little heart and a huggy bear emoji while he had been up there, and they exchanged fond little smiles.

Equius was one of the last to receive a diploma and he was nearly drenched with sweat, practically dripping the stuff. Everyone agreed that it was gross as fuck.

 

Finally, they decided to leave the room to throw their hats up, walking in a big group over to the big sports field, the students chatting as they walked. Dave was chastising Bro for being such a fucking dork, simultaneously hugging Karkat to his side. Karkat was repeatedly telling a talkative Kankri to shut up. Roxy and John had already gone to make out somewhere, John having already thrown his hat to his Dad, who had caught it and tucked it under his arm to put into a frame and hang on the wall.

 

Letting go of Karkat, instead just taking his hand, Dave takes his hat along with everyone else, Karkat taking his own hat in turn, and they all threw them up with a shout, relieved that finally, finally, it was done, and they had no more high school. Sure, there was college as well, but it wasn’t the time to think about it now.

 

Dave looks down at Karkat, grinning fondly at him, leaning down and pulling him into another kiss, free hand smoothing his spiky gelled hair back down. “Love you, dork. Congrats on making it through this shit with me.” he murmurs against his lips.

 

“Love you too, idiot. Congrats on actually making it through at all.” Karkat teases in reply.

 

They have so much else to do from here. Karkat is going into Literature, while minoring in Cultural Studies, while Dave was going into Paleontology, though doing a minor in music production. They need to pack their shit to get it into the dorm. They’re not really meant to be rooming together because they’re together, but Dave lied and said they were cousins. Of course, they didn’t buy it, considering Karkat was literally a different species. Dave then tries again, wiggling his brows in a very unconvincing way and announcing, “Veeeeeerrry distant cousins.”

 

Dave is now rooming with Sollux, and Karkat with Eridan.

 

Eridan is pleased as punch about the whole thing of course. “Oh, Kar, we’re gonna have so many parties, you don’t even know.” he announces when he finds out, his accent rolling over his ‘v’s and ‘w’s.

 

“Er… no. I will be hanging out with Dave.”  
  


“Don’t be such a party pooper, Kar.” Eridan grumbles.

 

“God, I wish we could swap roommates.” Karkat mutters.

 

“Swap? Fuck no. I am not spendin’ my year with that assface.” Eridan says quickly, cheeks flushing a soft purple.

 

“Of course you’re not.” Karkat said, crossing his arms.

 

“I’m not, Kar! You know I would never like that landdweller moron.” He protests even quicker, voice high and upset.

 

“Sure, Ampora, whatever you say.” Karkat says knowingly, chuckling.

 

He pretends not to notice when Eridan later is sitting with Sollux, who is excitedly talking about his computer science classes, enthusiastic like he rarely ever is, and the seadweller’s eyes are practically hearts, he’s so damn red for the guy.

 

After the ceremony is done, and their large group of friends are all seated in Karkat’s hive, which Crabdad and Kankri had decorated, Karkat sits with Dave, who is quite content to just press little kisses to his neck and nuzzle at him until he purrs and closes his eyes. “Aw, my little Karkitten. Purring like a sweetheart.” he teases softly.

“Mm, fuck off, Strider, just because my species is more evolved to warn predators off and express contentment with these noises, doesn’t mean you can make fun of me for it.” Karkat retorts, voice gone a little funny through the purring.

“I’m your life partner, honey, I can make fun of you all I like.” Dave replies fondly, kissing his neck again and winding his arms around him, pulling him in close.

“True. But that means I get to make fun of your dorky shades.”

“Never.”

 

Sure, they need to work out what they want to bring to their dorm for the new year, they need to figure out how to surreptitiously swap rooms and stay together, and they need to make their relationship work while drowning in more schoolwork than before.

But they’ve been doing it for years now. It’s safe to say they can manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was worth the wait!!!
> 
> I'm figuring this next chapter or the chapter after is probs gonna be one of the last, I never had a real direction in mind, if any of you have any scenarios you want to see my nerds get into, leave me an ask at redrom-davekat-confirmed.tumblr.com and I might make a sidefic for it and put it in a series or something!
> 
> Love you all and I hope you have a great day/night/whatever! <3


	6. The Party (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gueeeeeeeessssssss who's having a party?  
> You guessed it, Jade! And she's invited our two lovable goofballs along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you thought this was dead, huh?  
> I thought so too.   
> Last night, my sister mentioned my unfinished fics, and I decided fuck it. I already have this chapter finished, it was just the final chapter I hadn't completed. And so, after about 4 hours and a Pokemon GO meet at my local park, this story finally met its end.
> 
> I'm going to upload this, the final party chapter and my epilogue in one burst. Sorry to all the people getting sudden emails.  
> I hope you enjoy. Because I sure as shit have.

“Hey, Karkat, were you and Dave coming to the party tonight?” Karkat wonders absently why it’s always ‘Karkat and Dave’, not just him, but then he reasoned, he was rarely ever away from Dave’s side anyway. 

 

“Well, Dave says he wants to go, and I don’t have work, so I think we’ll be coming tonight.” Karkat works at the college newspaper, writing short stories and poems, as well as the movie reviews. Dave had offered to help with the reviews, but the last one he had done was an ‘ironic’ and heavily sarcastic review of Con Air, which John had refused to speak to him for a week for. So, Karkat didn’t let Dave help anymore. Which he thought was a pretty rational option, though Dave thought different.

 

Jade smiled brightly. “Oh, Karkat, I’m so excited! We’re going to have so much fun tonight, I promise! Maybe if Dave gets drunk enough tonight, we can put makeup on him?” Karkat can’t help but chuckle at that. Karkat can’t exactly get drunk, his biology doesn’t react the same way to alcohol, but Dave’s tolerance is below zero.and he is beyond hammered after just two beers. Though, he’ll swear back and forth that he’s totally sober. By five beers, he’s passed out, usually after vomiting, usually on an unsuspecting Karkat’s lap. Safe to say, Karkat is kind of sick of Drunk Dave.

 

He smiles at them and makes his way back to the dorm, pausing for a minute, ear against the door before he enters. He’d picked up the habit about a month ago.

Sollux and Eridan had been fighting about who was better at first person shooters (it was Eridan, the boy had skill with a rifle, whether in-game or out of it) and then, suddenly, they were making out and Karkat had hastily packed some clothes and hid with Dave for the next two days. Which was for the best, because he came into the room on the third day to get some more clothes and just as quickly left the room because he had nearly run into a half naked pair making out on the floor. 

 

Needless to say, he burned his sheets after that day, just in case. He didn’t trust those two alone in a room with two beds. Sollux did have that weird duality thing after all. None of his possessions were safe.

 

Thankfully, there were no noises on the other side of the door this time around, so he declared it safe, knocked just to be sure, waited for Eridan to tell him it was safe, and entered their messy shared room. Sollux is sitting on Karkat’s bed, finishing off what looked to be a html code for a web shop. He was just finishing up the CSS for it when Karkat pushed at his legs irritably, demanding he get off his bed and go to his own room.

To that, Sollux maturely replied by sticking out his newly healed split tongue, smiling slyly and replying, “If you want me to get off the bed, KK, you’re going to have to play rock, paper, th… scissors.” He snarls slightly to himself as he tries to push down the lisp. It hadn’t been that bad before, just barely affecting his sibilants, but now it was a hard ‘th’ and it was embarrassing.

 

“Is that so? Go on, play me, fucker, you know I win every time.” They play their hands.

 

Sollux plays scissors, while Karkat plays rock. A sulky Captor gets off of the bed, flopping on top of Eridan, who had been watching the spectacle with raised brows, who makes a sort of screeching noise as 150 pounds of dorky coder lands atop him. “ED, he’th being mean again.” he mutters.

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t throw scissors every damn time we play. I get it, you like the number two, but you have lost so much more than you’ve gained playing that stupid scissors.” Karkat replies smugly from the bed.

 

Suddenly, the door is being slammed open, and in comes Dave, who is followed by Cronus, of all people. Eridan’s weird relative-brother-father person was still a student at their college, though it was for his fourth degree, explaining why he was like 11 sweeps old (though he insisted he was 11 and a half) and still at college. Dave got along with him swimmingly (he had also picked up some water puns from Feferi one time. Karkat was trying to train him out of it) and the two of them were actually the two highest achievers in their music production course.

 

Yeah. Karkat was surprised too.

 

“Sup, honeybun.” Dave bids to Karkat, sitting at the edge of the bed and leaning in for a kiss, which is happily offered. Cronus pretends to retch from the doorway, though he’s grinning all the same.

“Just kicked lispy’s ass for the millionth time.” Karkat replies with a modest shrug.

Dave nods in sympathy, looking back at Sollux. “Shouldn’t have played scissors again, bro.”

 

“So, were you all coming to the party tonight? Jade enlisted me and Dave for entertainment, as they’ve obviously seen our combined talents at work.” Cronus says, beaming. He’s kind of proud of his combined skills, not Dave’s, but his own. He can bartend, write, sing, play music, and he has a graduate degree in aquaculture science and technology, so he has that going for him in case the music falls through. People are always baffled by that last part, but he explains it by telling people his father figure lived with him in Australia for nearly 6 sweeps, teaching him about marine biology, and so he wanted to make the Orphaner proud in that way. Not that he really felt one way or the other about the degree. He’d always wanted to go into music.

 

Eridan, on the other hand was taking acting classes and studying screenwriting. He hadn’t enjoyed the weather in the Southern Hemisphere nearly as much as Cronus had. He preferred the dark, where he could brood and be whoever he wished to be.

Sollux thought it was hot. Karkat thought that, as long as they didn’t start roleplaying kinky shit while he was around, it was pretty cool. Dave thought he was a total dweeb.

 

Exposition aside, Karkat sighs. “Yes, Ampora squared, we’re going to the party, Jade already invited us earlier, and I presume they asked Dave beforehand before me anyway. So… yeah.” He shrugs. Jade’s pretty cool, they always know how to chill out after a stress-filled day of work and school, and they constantly help Karkat calm down when something gets him suuuper ranty. He doesn’t really know tons about them anyway, so he doesn’t try make assumptions or anything.

 

“Well, yeah, they asked, I said to ask you, I never know where we’ll be at any given time. Like, Kankri mentioned that we had to go to dinner sometime this week, but I can’t remember when for the fuckin’ life of me, Karkat. This is what happens. You need to write this shit down for me.” Dave laments.

 

“Kankri’s is Sunday, dear. Then Jacob invited us over for a pizza night on Tuesday, if we can make it. Jake, of course, is inviting me out for a movie night to go see Jurassic World. He’s seen it eleven times now, but insists on taking me this time. You and Dirk aren’t allowed to come, because you will both be, and I quote, ‘absolute cockamamie bone heads’. At which point, I rolled my eyes and hung up, of course.” Karkat reminds Dave, at length, though he knows it will just go in one ear and out the other, as always.

 

“Yes, thank you, babycakes, just as helpful as always.” Dave sighs, flopping onto him dramatically. “Oh, darling, what shall we wear tonight?” he asks, batting his eyelashes, though only Karkat would notice from the miniscule movements of his shades. “How will we possibly find clothing that is just as impeccable as our outer shell?”

 

“Start in the dumpster, Th… Strider, you’ll find anything you need right in there.” Sollux points out. 

 

“Babe, my roommate is cutting me deep. You need to save me from bleeding out right here and now, emergency surgery, stitch me up tight before my gizzards are in my throat.” Dave cries out, before grinning and shrugging. “But, seriously, all our clothes are in the wash.”

 

“No, they aren’t, you always say that, I have spare stuff for us, dork.” He rummages under his bed, grabbing out a small storage box. In there is nearly five spare sets of clothing. Dave gawks at it for a moment before sighing. “I fell in love with a fucking dork.”

 

“Dave, you’re a dinosaur scientist. Don’t call me a dork.” Karkat replies calmly as he tosses a shirt, boxers and jeans at Dave’s face. “Now, go and get dressed. I’ll be right behind you.”

 

“Of that, I have absolutely no doubt, babe.” Dave delivers a lecherous, exaggerated wink, and strolls right on into the bathroom.

  
Karkat sputters for a moment before just sighing and following after him, his own clothes in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual party and a little dialogue-only epilogue should be coming to you immediately after this one's done, so watch out, my guys, my gals, my non-binary pals and everyone in between!
> 
> Shoutout to my sister for reminding me I was nearly done, since I was halfway through the second-last chapter in March and just forgot to finish.


	7. The Party (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was half-written over the course of at least half a year. If it sounds disjointed, that's because it is. If you hate it, sorry, pal.
> 
> At long last, the party is popping and some unexpected, or perhaps very expected, things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the last official chapter of this story. I wrote most of it within a night, and the rest of it was from the original draft of this story. This fic is one of my most read ones, and I am truly grateful for all the kudos, hits, bookmarks, subscriptions, comments and criticisms. I've been straying from Davekat a lot lately, which should be pretty obvious in my recent list of works. But I still do love these guys. I really, truly do. And even if the comic finished before this fic did, I'm still hoping it meets some expectations (unlike the end of the comic (I'm not bitter about the ending, what are you talking about)).

The music is loud, Dave is drunk and nobody is surprised. Eridan and Sollux had opted out of the party, preferring each other’s company to that of the partygoers. Karkat suspected they were taking advantage of the two empty rooms. Well, he knew Sollux certainly would be.

 

“Honey, sh-s-sweetheart, precious lil’ nugget, I think ‘m drunk.” Dave stammers into Karkat’s ear, low and soft, like he’s sharing a secret that nobody knows.

 

“Oh, Dave, I’m sure the whole party knows you’re drunk.” He replies reassuringly.

 

“Hm. Really? I though’ I was actin’ pretty red-re-” he pauses, trying to get the word right. “Regular! Tha’s it. Regular.”

 

“Oh, my god. Babe, just go back to your dorm and sleep.”

 

“Nooooo. The lovebirds are prolly fuckin’ in my dorm an’ I don’t needa see that.”

 

“Or they could be fucking in my dorm.”

 

“Naahhhhh. Sollux prefers our dorm. Tha’s where he keeps his weird brigh’ yellow condoms. I steal ‘em to make balloons.”

 

“That’s gross, Dave.”

 

“I know. But ya still love me, don’tcha.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Hahahaha, I win.”

“How the fuck is that seen as winning in any understandable scenario?”

 

“Cuz I got youuu, duh.” Dave presses a gentle smooch to the shell of Karkat’s ear, and the troll chuckles softly.

 

“Definitely not winning, then. But okay. We should go back to my dorm, then. Either way you need to sleep this off, because I am not going to suffer through you purging your disgusting bodily fluids all over my god damn lap. Again.”

 

“But Kaaarr, my sweet noodle, thought cha usually loved my body fluids.” Dave delivers an exaggerated wink and finger guns that he obviously picked up from Jake. Picking habits up from Jake was probably the worst thing that Dave could have done, in Karkat’s opinion.

 

“Yes, when they aren’t being propelled forth through your fucking squawk blister, and directly onto my nice pants.” Karkat was to have none of Dave Strider’s bullshit today.

 

“Karkat.”

 

“Yes, Dave?”

 

“Tomorrow, we gotta do a thing.”

 

“A thing. Descriptive as usual, fuckstick. Just what am I going to be expected to do tomorrow?”

 

“Get married, duh, Kitten.”

 

“First. Don’t fucking call me kitten. Second. Why is that such an obvious choice. Third. What the everloving fuck, Strider? Since when did I ever agree to that?”

 

“We’re already married, sweetiecrab. I just gotta find the appropriately colored ring pop.” He looks obscenely proud of himself for managing to enunciate the word ‘appropriately.’ Karkat was at least twice as proud that Dave was managing to enunciate more than two syllables.

 

“.....As long as it isn’t green.” A slightly irritated little grumble is just barely audible amidst the noise of the party.

 

“Rad. You get a red ring pop. To symbolize my red hot love for you.”

 

“That’s so gay.”

 

“Nahhhhhhh. I’m just suuuuuper into you, bro. But, like, not in a gay way, bro, just a totally rad love way. So we gotta get married.”

 

“I. Don’t know if you actually expect me to understand your babbling right now. But sure. Why the fuck not? Let’s get married.” He raises his voice and speaks up. “Hey, fuckers!! We’re getting married! Someone get Dave a veil!”

 

“Whaaaat? Why do I gotta wear the veil?”

 

“Because you’re my beautiful partner and I have to carry you over the threshold.”

 

“Buuuuuut…. We’re s’posed ta do it tomorrow!”

 

“We can get that shit made official later.” Jade brings Karkat a frilly curtain that they had seemed to rip right off of the curtain rack, beaming widely.

 

“Aw, Harls, ya shouldn’t’ve.” Dave drawls, pulling the curtain around himself like a cape. “I’m gonna be the belle of the fuckin’ ball here.”

 

“You’re welcome!! You guys are gonna be the power couple of this party now!” Jade exclaims, patting Karkat on the shoulder heavily, clearly a little tipsy. Karkat would later complain that Jade’s heavy-handed patting made him shrink at least one inch.

 

Karkat stumbles to his feet, and drags Dave up as well, towing him through the house by one hand, while Dave’s other hand held his frilly curtain cape/veil closed. When they had arrived in the middle of the heavily populated living room, Karkat raised his voice so he could be heard over the crowd. Which was not hard for someone of Karkat’s… vociferousness.

 

“Hey, nookscrapers! Shut the shit up for just a second!”

 

The party slowly, but surely, quieted to a low murmur, a humming of soft voices and whispers melding into one another to form one droning noise.

 

“Anyone know those fancy wedding things that wedding people say?” Dave asks, raising his brows meaningfully, peering around the crowd.

 

The murmurs grow a little louder, and eventually, a familiar face steps out from the throng of people, hand raised.

 

“Ah, yes, the one person I expected to never know a fucking thing about commitment.”

 

“I’m hurt, Vantas. Dave gets me, but you just don’t, do ya?” Cronus flicks his dimly glowing cigarette, the ashes dropping to the marble floor. “I know a lot, about a lotta things. Though, I, er. Picked this up from somebody, as a matter of fact.”

 

“I don’t want to know. Please, for the love of all that is holy, let me remain in blissful ignorance about who you learnt it from.”

 

Cronus just wiggles his brows, in an infuriating way, if you ask Karkat, and shrugs. “You want these vows, or not? Have you already got some planned?”

 

“Nope. Jus’ doin’ it on a whim, Cro. You wanna lead the ceremony for us?” 

 

“For twenty bucks, I’ll do anything.”

 

“Oh, and don’t we all know it. Fine, you’ll get your money tomorrow. Just get ready.” Karkat looks around to the clearly stunned partygoers. “Yes, you’re all about to witness a real, honest to god, wedding, between two people that love each other. Chill. Throw rice at us or something later if you can find it. Don’t ask who the wife of the relationship is, and I swear, if someone says a fucking word about us being different species, their thinkpan will suddenly, and painfully, come into contact with their wastechute. Are we clear?”

 

An affirmative drone from the crowd. Clearly, the wedding was a go and nobody had any objections so far. And if they did, they knew well not to voice them around Karkat Vantas. Not to his face, anyway.

 

And so, in Jade Harley’s living room, dressed in shitty casual clothing and a slightly yellowed lace curtain, Cronus Ampora began the unofficial, possibly illegal wedding of two young men who seemed to have ditched all labels for their relationship and went for broke.

 

“Friends of the groom and… well, the other groom, welcome, and thanks for bein’ here on this… unexpected night.

 

We’re gathered here for a party, but now, we’re also here to celebrate the love between these two guys, by joining them in marriage.

 

One of the highest forms of love between people is a committed, trusting, equal relationship.

 

Groom and.. Groom, your marriage today is the public and… dubiously legal joining of your souls that have already been united as one in your hearts.

 

Marriage has been described as falling in love with your best friend.

 

Love, for some, is one of the true constants in the universe.

 

For those people, it can be reality, it can be affinity, and it can be communication.

 

For these two people, out of the routine of ordinary life, they have chosen the extraordinary.

 

They met each other, fell in love, and are symbolizing that love today, for us all.”

 

By this point, Karkat is crying. He had been crying the moment Cronus started his slightly long-winded speech. Dave, on the other hand, stood quietly, all traces of his previous tipsiness stamped down ruthlessly so that he could be sober and still in this moment. He owed that to Karkat, at the very least.

 

“Alright, er, did either of ya have some vows?” Cronus eyes the tearful Karkat with trepidation. He didn’t really know how to handle crying grooms. Or crying anyones.

 

“I-I.. have something, I think.” Karkat reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a worn piece of paper that he had clearly prepared some time ago. Possibly even years ago. Dave just shook his head slightly, smiling a little. Of course Karkat had his own wedding vows prepared in advance.

 

“So….” The troll clears his throat quietly, before turning to Dave and speaking up, his still wet eyes bright. “You, Dave Strider, have always been there to help me through my toughest times, bringing me up through my highest, happiest moments. You’ve helped me up, brought me back down to Earth, held me, kissed me goodnight and goodmorning and every time in between. You’ve celebrated every wriggling day with me from the very first year you met me. You know all my secrets, and I know all of yours. We have shared so many moments. In comparison to all those moments, this feels almost like nothing. But it is something. It is… it is e-everything.” He sniffs, once and then again, before continuing. “You know how much I idolize those romantic comedies. You’ve watched me cry at all those happy endings. You’ve watched me giggle with fucking glee as the stereotypical couple makes up from their stupid little fight and gets the happy ending they always wanted. Now, we may not be a stereotypical couple. Hell, I don’t even like being considered part of a couple, or a relationship, or a marriage. But we’re getting our happy ending. Between us, we have our happy ending. And I’m so glad that it was you that I got to share this with. I couldn’t have asked for a better one.”

 

The room is silent. You could probably hear a pin drop. But, then, slowly, Jade began to clap, tears standing out in their eyes. Sure enough, the clapping began soon after they started clapping, and the whole room broke out in riotous applause and cheering, partygoers hugging and kissing and just basking in just how fucking sweet that shit was.

 

Dave just stood there, entirely dumbfounded. He didn’t cry, or clap, he just stood there, staring at Karkat, straight-faced. He waited until the crowd stopped clamoring and applauding before he smiled, slowly and softly.

 

His hands rose up to the arms of his glasses, and he pulled them off, tucking them into his shirt collar, his eyes on perfect display to everyone, though his eyes never left Karkat’s.

 

“I haven’t got a fancy speech. Shit, I’m the one that proposed and I haven’t got any fuckin’ vows. As ever, you’re more prepared than I am. Which, I guess, is why we’re perfect together. You keep the spare clothes under the bed, even when I forget the laundry. You put a sign on the door when Sollux and Eridan are fucking in my room, while I just kind of put headphones on and ignore it. You soar, while I cruise along down on Earth, ready to catch you if you ever falter. We’re perfect like that, y’know? We don’t gotta be married to prove that, but I know how you are about endings. You like to see it through to the end, the proper rom-com end. So, here we go. Guess we’re gettin’ married, huh? Ain’t that a thing.”

 

He ends on that confusing little note, a pleased little smile on his lips. Karkat just chuckles, a bit choked up, tears still streaming down his face.

 

“Alright! Guess it’s time to bless you guys, and then we can get back to the party. Which now, I guess, is a wedding party?” Cronus shrugs, clearly unaffected by all this romance shit. It could not be considered to be in any way, his area of expertise.

“Okay. 

 

May your love be a love based on freedom.

 

Though hands may touch, it is hearts that hold.

 

When you hold love within your heart, you radiate a light, which shall brighten all the days of your life and beyond.

 

Everything we love stays with us, in our hearts. 

 

So take your time with each other. Let your love grow and mature with the sweeps, to provide you with warmth, serenity, joy and acceptance for as long as the two of you remain together.

 

Love is not a wall; it is a bridge.

 

Love does not confine; it sets you free.

 

It leads, as a pathway, to something winding and mysterious.

 

With love to light the way, you can face any challenge, together.

 

May the blessings of life, the joy of love, the peace of truth, and the wisdom and strength of spirit, be your constant companions, always, through your journey.

 

You may seal your union with a kiss.”

 

And despite the height difference, Dave was suddenly caught in a deep dip, Karkat’s lips hard on his, the partygoers cheering obnoxiously.

 

It wasn’t really a proper ceremony, and Karkat was pretty sure a lot of the words were just from the top of the Ampora’s head, but fuck, if it wasn’t the most perfect wedding he could have asked for, if he was being perfectly honest.

  
Cameras were going off like mad, and Dave suspected the whole thing had been taped and shot from various angles and times, all to be uploaded to social media as soon as possible. Which he was okay with. He wanted to hear Karkat’s vows over and over again, and kiss him over and over again. But for now, this was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent maybe thirty minutes looking up wedding words and shit. What Cronus says is a mashup of statements from a website I found when googling 'wedding words'. What Dave and Karkat say is a mashup of statements from my sleep-deprived mind. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. (And look forward to the short, baby, dialogue-only epilogue. I figured I didn't really want to draw out the ending.)
> 
> (In other news, I've been trying (and failing) to revise and rewrite my Davekat week fics. The ones I liked, anyway. I figured I'd do it since the unofficial anniversary of Davekat week is coming up. I'm not sure if my friend and the original Davekat Week creator, Kylie, is still even interested in starting it up again. If not, I might consider taking over this year and getting in some other mods to help. I'll have to talk to her about it. All the same, you haven't seen the last of me!!!)


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two dorks return to their childhood playground. Nothing more, nothing less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short, like, suuuper short, epilogue that I bullshitted through real quick because I liked it.
> 
> Hope you do too.

“Dave, get off the fucking swing! You’ll break the chains under all that weight.”

 

“Aw, Karkat, I’m not that big, am I? May not be a kid, but I can still rock it with the cool boiz.”

 

“Don’t ever say those words again, or so help me, I will shove your own fist down your throat.”

 

“Kinky. Maybe later, though, we are in a children’s playground, someone might get jealous of our love and try copy that.”

 

“Yeah, and if they do, they deserve what they get. I offer no sympathy. I only offer my mocking laughter and the sight of my back as I walk away from them, and from this conversation.”

 

“Yeah, righ- Wait, hey! No, crabby boy, come back! Sweetiepie, sugarkins, pumpkin spice latte-san! Husbando-senpai, please!”

 

“You have just stomped all over Japanese culture in your shitty high top sneakers.”

 

“Actually, these are combat boots.”

 

“What the fuck ever, Strider.”

 

“Actually, it’s Vantas now, remember?”

 

“No, it’s Strider, you just keep insisting that you’re gonna take my name.”

 

“Who says I won’t?”

 

“Our marriage certificate.”

 

“Touche, certificate. Tou-fuckin’-che.”

 

“Can we just go now? As much as I like to reminisce, this place just reminds me of Terezi’s dumb dragon games and it’s pissing me off.”

 

“I’m still your human, huh? No sharing?”

 

“Absolutely none. And you’d better remember that.”

 

“How could I possibly forget? I’m wearing the ring you bought for me. We live together. We share everything. I am undeniably your human.”

 

“Damn fucking right you are. Now let’s go home and make out for an hour, I’m feeling nostalgic.”

 

“Can’t argue with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! That's the end of it. If people have ideas for additions onto the story, please, feel free to add them! I will try take them into account and maybe write some one-shots to add on, like I did with the little scrapbook thing. I'm sure a lot of people forgot this fic even existed, and I did too, but I'm glad I managed to get this done. I'll be happier, knowing I finished something for once.
> 
> Thanks for reading along with me for all this time. Thanks to Hussie for letting me use the characters and giving them the happy ending they deserved. Thanks to Kyla for pushing me to finish this. Thanks to Pokemon GO for giving me that 400-something Tentacruel yesterday morning.
> 
> I hope you have a lovely day, today. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you've enjoyed! I'm trying to get this all finished in one night so I can upload it a bit at a time, or all at once tomorrow.
> 
> Have a swell day my friends <3


End file.
